Incomplete Story: Everyone, But Me

“She needs to think about her younger sister! She cannot be selfish like this!” Mr. Thomas shouted at me, with his vocal veins all trying to stretch out.

“Yes, you are right. She has to think about her sister. She has to think about her family. But…who is going to think about her?” I was not afraid of anyone anymore; I knew exactly what to speak.

“So, we are not thinking about her? All this arrangements, who are these for? All these guests, all these trouble we have gone into to choose the right person, all these…. What are these for? And you think, I am not thinking about her?”

“No, you are not! You are not. You are thinking about your society’s satisfaction over this marriage, your religion’s sanctity, your other daughter’s marriage, your guests’ pleasure….everything, but her. Tell me if I am wrong.”

“Oh, you little pathetic moron… first stand at my side and then say all those rebellious words. First be a father of two daughters….”

“So, there, I AM right.”

He was still breathing fire, but he didn’t know what to say.

“I know Sir that you need to think about Pat too. But, is that at the cost of Kate’s happiness?” I looked around to all the invited guests, their pathetic social-code-following faces made me angrier. “Who are these people, this so-called society? What gives them the right to choose what’s best for her? They do not fucking care a damn about her! They just want to live in their pseudo-utopia and maintain their stupid idiotic superficial social standards. Why should Kate be caring even a penny for them?”

“Shouldn’t she at least care about us?” Mr. Thomas looked as if he could break anytime now.

“She should and she is, Sir. She is. Isn’t that why she is standing there, ready to go to the altar without any air of sadness? She is hiding her pain behind that beautiful smile just because, the people she love can stand and watch her getting married, with peace, with tears of happiness.”

Kate was standing speechless, with tears dropping like a small fountain from her eyes. She stopped them for months, but they couldn’t hold anymore. Mr. Thomas looked at her, trying to read her.

“Yeah, we all know the famous lines, that “time heals everything”, “She will be living happily and forgetting everything in no time” etc etc. But why? Why for once, she can’t be happy because she wants to, not because she has to?” I was not stopping today, for anything. I have had it. I looked at the to-be-groom, Dennis.

“Every single moment she lives with him, he will remind her that he is not Vishal. She will hate those moments, she will hate her life, she will hate herself and then drink up her tears, like almost everybody present here have done, for some or other reason.” I looked at the crowd again. They were all looking at me as if I was a nasty runt of a litter. “Is that why you people want her go through same pains too? Because, you cannot stand others not feeling the pain you had? Yeah… that has to be it. You didn’t have it, so why should others? Right? Even if she’s your friend, family, sister…or daughter?”

“You have crossed all limits…” Mr. Thomas couldn’t resist anymore. He came forward and slapped me hard. “Shut up, that’s enough! Don’t say what you don’t know. You think I am marrying off my daughter because I want her to go through pain?”

“Then why? Why are you doing this after knowing everything?” He looked at me and realized I couldn’t be stopped today. “Why can’t you just accept that she has found the person she wants to spend her whole life with, with whom pain doesn’t seem pain, sadness doesn’t find its ground, looking at whom she can face any consequence, any misery that may come. Why can’t you be happy, just because she is…and will be? Isn’t that the whole point?”

He looked at Kate and sat down, he was tired of shouting at me, trying to hold onto the strict social side of him.

“Do you remember, when she was a kid and her teacher blamed her off something she hasn’t done and beat her? Remember how you went up to that teacher and blasted her? Where was your social code that day? I will tell you. You threw away all that code because you wanted your daughter to be happy, at any cost. I know you will do the same again, if need be. But why this strange meaningless attachment to the social and religious conventions of marriage? What makes these norms so logical, so good, so pathetically unavoidable? Why do you have to care about social status, religion, family background, people speaking bad on your back, pleasing people who will never be with you when you need them, and everything….but her happiness? Why does that single word come after all other things when you marry off your children? If they were immature kids, I would understand your logic. But they are full-grown, highly matured people who can make a living on their own. Why don’t they deserve to decide what and who they want in their lives?”

“Fear God, you insolent kid. How can you speak ill of age-old social conventions like this? Fear God.” Dennis’s mother came ahead, raging with anger. People started to whisper loudly.

“No, I won’t.” I looked straight into her eyes. “I won’t fear God, because I haven’t done anything wrong. And I don’t think God wants us to fear Him, unless we have done a sin. Also, God hasn’t made society or their rules. God hasn’t divided us into religious boundaries. We have.” I gasped for breath. “And, we have believed in these rules for so long, that we do not realize what’s right or wrong anymore.”

I looked at everybody… and I realized, this wasn’t my crowd.

“You know what? I just realized that whatever I say is not going to make you people realize anything. You are just praying this moment to be over, so that you can return to your utopian rules and standards. Nothing I say or do will make you feel any guilt or grow any new senses. You all are mentally handicapped. The only thing you can do is to believe what you said was right and throw away others’ opinions, impose your belief on others….”

“Aren’t you doing the same?” Dennis spoke up.

“No, I am not. I don’t care what you believe and what you do with your life…and none of you present here. I just care about her.” I looked at Kate, she was standing behind her father, clueless about how to console him. “What I am saying are just her views, which she could never speak out.”

“Tell him, that it’s not your views.” Dennis demanded from Kate.

Kate looked at me; she wasn’t the strong girl I knew anymore.

“You don’t have to fear Kate. The truth is out now. It cannot go any worse.”

“Tell him, Kate! Tell him to stop this social revolution of his!” Dennis was getting louder.

“Kate, speak out. Say it, for the first time let everybody know, what makes you happy.”

“Just fucking tell him Kate!” Dennis shouted.

“They are not my views, I am happy with whatever my Dad thinks.” She blurted… and then she knelt down hiding her face. “I am happy, happy, happy….” Her words turning into whisper gradually.

Dennis looked at me.

I nodded.

“Great.” I paused to have a last look at everybody. “Sorry for ruining the party. People who are pissed off can come and beat me up, I am waiting at the gate.”

I rushed out of the door.

It was raining outside. One of those accidental rains. I let my tears run along…after a long time.

I couldn’t, I just couldn’t do it, Kate. I am sorry. I tried, I tried so much.

I sat down on the fresh mud near the gate. I was waiting for my punishment. It came, disguised as 5 young men - Dennis’s friends.

They started hitting me like anything. I didn’t resist, my senses were not working anymore. All I could think of, was what the hell I just did in that room full of people? Why did I make a fool out of myself? What did it gain me? What could it gain me possibly? I am not Vishal…! I am just the pathetic super-loser called Neel. Why did I do it?

The last thing I could remember was somebody’s shoe coming straight for my chins… and then I blacked out.

***************

When I woke up, I was in a bed. The room was not familiar, but looked very clean and homely. I was bandaged at places, including left elbow. I felt that it was broken. And, suddenly the pain spurred out. Oh, those bastards!

 I felt my face. It was plastered almost everywhere. Who did this?

I tried to get up, but felt very weak.

“Hello? Anybody?” I raised my voice.

Kate entered the room. Oh, it’s her house then! She has done all this! Man, it would have been better to lie unattended on the road.